Avoiding conflict

Modern life brings much stress; how can we protect our health, keeping our self-control?

Modern life brings much stress; how can we protect our health, keeping our self-control?

A. Stasevich, Logoisk

Throughout life, we inevitably face conflict at one time or another. We set goals but come up against obstacles, or suffer misfortune, wanting to blame others for our frustration. Meanwhile, relatives and colleagues believe that we alone are to blame for our failures, which leads to misunderstanding and resentment, creating a situation of conflict.

Of course, we all want to avoid such unpleasantness, so we need to recognise others’ feelings and maintain good communication. We should speak respectfully, remaining polite, as the best way to finding solutions. Words spoken in anger are not quickly forgotten, so it’s important to control your emotions. The world around us and other people won’t always fall in line with our desires, and expressing anger won’t change that. In fact, losing our temper almost always makes things worse, and can cause ill health.

Recommendations on how to behave in a conflict situation

  • Try to divert from the situation before it develops into an argument;

  • Do not rise to others’ attempts to inflame you (such people do exist). Others may want to offer advice and judgement but you don’t have to engage. You can choose to listen politely and choose to disagree without having an argument;

  • Keep your cool and be careful of the conversations you initiate. Focus on the positive;

  • Rather than maintain an argument, once you’ve stated your position, stop speaking. Trouble-makers will run out of steam if you don’t respond;

  • If you find yourself becoming angry, try changing the topic of conversation;

  • Control your emotions and your behaviour, remaining relaxed. If needed, try closing your eyes and repeating a mantra of calm endurance and self-control until you feel your equilibrium returning. Try to remain positive;

  • Cultivate your talents rather than focusing on your shortcomings. This is the best path to mental and physical health.

By Tatiana Zhukova

Doctor of higher category, M.D., Ph.D.
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