Readers of Belarusian dailies and weeklies, poetry lovers and frequent theater-goers all know Diana Balyko very well. She is a journalist, poetess and playwright. However, she has another outstanding talent: she is the author of practical psychology books for women under the name of “de Charmant” to help them get on in life. Her books are published in Moscow and sold all over the CIS.
Moscow held a presentation of a new book by Balyko that caused a real sensation.
— Think twice before making up your mind about getting married, Diana warns. — It is much better to think about marriage once a month than about a divorce once a week.
— Are there any true ideal partners? I ask Diana.
— There are no ideal partners, there are people that suit, or fit each other. This suitability, or appropriateness, becomes the best option. So start looking for the other half, and never agree to less, or you will be unhappy in your marriage.
— Why are men so intimidated by women’s love confession?
— No one wants to feel a victim or prey, especially men, because they are born conquerors and manipulators. So if a woman wants to lasso the chosen one she should be very cautious not to let her man know that he has been caught in a trap of illusions for as long as possible (better for the whole life together).
— Why are many women unwilling to look for a husband?
— There are two reasons, I believe — the self-rating — either it is very high or very low. In the latter case women may think no efforts may help. “This is God’s will,” they say hoping that on New Year’s Eve God will remember them and give them Prince Charming on a white horse. These women will agree to anything that a man will ask, the only condition being that the man notices them. But this will not be the best man, believe me, because confident men that know their worth are eager to find women that “fit”.
“No worthy men” is a good reason to give up for ambitious, self-enamored but reserved women. This means it is time you change this tune, for even the unworthy won’t fall to your feet. It is time to start looking for worthy men, because the search for happiness is a serious step for a confident woman. Never look for an ideal man, keep looking for someone that suits you, for “someone of your kin”, not some alien. Try to find someone who looks like you, both outwardly and inwardly, because you can be happy only with yourself. It is much easier to love, understand and tame someone like yourself!
— Do you believe many women think money is the key to happiness?
— Don’t try to find a rich husband, look for a personality. Try to be independent, get a good education, job, start making a career.
— What is the best age difference for a husband and a wife?
— In a family with a big difference in age there is no partnership, but guardianship of the child-parent type. The gap should not be more than 15 years, otherwise the death rate of both partners increases dramatically. In ideal families men and women should be of almost the same age. Your values should be very close, your tastes and experiences should be equally developed.
— The times when men liked “nuns” are over. Men prefer strong and active women that know their worth. Have you ever followed your rules?
— Yes, my marriage is a happy one. I got some really soft clay to mold it as I like.
— Men seem to be intimidated by women. Will this tendency ever stop and the long-awaited idyll begin?
— This is a reciprocal process. Women forget how to love when men pay no attention to them. Slavic women are self-giving, they may sacrifice their careers for families. However, if a woman knows her value, her man also starts valuing her. The problem is that women forgot to love themselves and are ready to sacrifice everything. But victims feel no satisfaction. There should be a choice, and if a woman chooses wrong she will be unhappy.
— Is it true that foreign women are so emancipated they are ready to pay for themselves in restaurants?
— It is not true. If a man pays for a woman in our country, the woman should be grateful, and abroad men are grateful, so they pay. Women are worth love just because they are women.
— Can a woman be the first one to say she loves?
— She should always say it if she experiences this beautiful feeling…
— What if the reaction should be inadequate?
— This is experience. Never feel sorry for saying that you love. Never feel sorry for being good. When you said these words you had a most beautiful experience! So they all should be jealous!
Diana Balyko believes there are no ideal partners!
by Tatyana Khoroshilova
Spring, Love, Happiness
To find your second half